Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Jesus Meets His Mother, Mary

"Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, "Behold, this child is set for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is spoken against and a sword will pierce through your own soul also, that thoughts out of many hearts may be revealed."  (St. Luke 2.34-35)

The Fourth Station
Jesus Meets His Mother, Mary

This makes me think back to one of the key moments in my reconversion to the faith. It was the moment when I met Mary on my road to the Church and when I realised that she was my mother too.

It must have been about October or November 2010. I was in a bad place in my life. My heart was bitter, I was full of resentment but I thought I was doing okay. I was trying to pull myself out of this mire I found myself in, I wanted to be happy. But it was easier said then done and with out the grace of Christ, was darn near impossible. I had been doing RCIA and had found myself enraptured by what I had discovered in the teachings of the Church. It was that feeling of knowing I had found the truth but perhaps, as much as I knew I was on the right track now, I wasn't ready to fully surrender to it.

I had always been a skeptic of the Church's teachings on Mary. I had inherited this view from the “general consensus”, the outsiders perspective of the Church. I didn't understand it and I was afraid of it. But I had reached a stage of my journey where my heart had been softened enough to open me up to trying to see what all the fuss was about.

I can remember I was in Mass and on this particular evening I was feeling very bitter and very resentful and I didn't want to anymore. I was tired, I just wanted to let go. The Mass was beautiful but as we sang the recessional hymn, I looked over at the tabernacle and I felt something tell me I needed to light a candle. As everyone filed out I went over to the candles and lit one. I placed it down, then knelt in front of the tabernacle. I closed my eyes and said, “Okay, I'm going to give this a shot.” At this stage I really didn't know what or why I was doing this, my heart was full of doubt. I continued, “Mary, please intercede for me and pray that I may be filled with peace and that all this resentment and bitterness will be removed from my heart.” As I said the words an indescribable feeling of peace swept through me. All the heaviness on my heart fell away and I felt light. So unbelievably light. I floated out of the church on a cloud and that feeling stayed with me for a good couple of days. She had heard my prayer and had obtained for me that grace. What a milestone in my journey. Almost the sealing that needed to take place to make me sure that I was on the right track. I knew then that I was loved.

I know this doesn't relate directly to my day but as I reflected on the station, this story came to mind. When Jesus met His mother on the road to Golgotha, I'm sure He drew strength from her. And how strong must her heart have been to see her son in such a state and how great her faith was to acknowledge that God had a greater plan. So it was, on my journey, that I drew strength from her, the mother that Christ gave me as He hung on the cross.

Today we finished shooting my short film. I am pretty exhausted but I feel content and proud of everyone who helped out and pulled through on getting it together in such a short amount of time. As I sign off I think about that moment when Christ and Mary met on the road that day and wonder at the love that was exchanged between them, what an image. True surrender and true acceptance. And just as Simeon prophesied, a sword must have pierced her soul as her eyes met her son's. It must have taken everything she had to let Him go that day and not throw herself before the Romans to be taken in His place.

Pray for us, O holy Mother of God.
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ. 

Written prayer
O, Holy Mother, you carried Christ to us.
Pray, that now, we may carry Christ to others as you did, so humbly, to us.
amen

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