Jesus Falls the First Time

 The Third Station

Jesus Falls the First Time

"Surely he has borne our grief's and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that made us whole, and with his stripes we are healed."  (Isaiah 53.4-5)

In the business of the day sometimes it's hard to let my thoughts fall to Christ. In the rush and the excitement, my self involvement reaches it's utmost heights. Yet, He is there with me. Loving me, holding me and guiding me. And though I can't spare a moment for Him in the chaos of my day, He had me in His heart on that dusty street in Jerusalem when His knees hit the ground and the weight of the cross became too much to bear.

I filmed the first half of a short movie I am directing today and it went so well. Thanks be to God.

I often wonder about my profession. It is a wonderful medium, film and it is an extremely powerful art form. It can change hearts and minds. And so, it is also very dangerous. When I look back on a day of shooting, like today, I wonder where, in all that commotion, God is.

Is this His will for me? I think it is. But I pray I never forget that He wants me to do it for Him and that I may put my talents to His service always.

Let us pray:

Lamb of God, I no longer can number my sins ... which of them brought you first to your knees? Which sin was so laden with evil that you stumbled beneath it and fell to the ground? Was it the ponderous weight of hatred in my heart that caused your knees to buckle? Which voluptuous night? Which day of unbridled insolence? Was it the day I struck you when I struck down my brother? The day I throttled a debtor to reclaim what was never mine? Which day, my Lord? Which sin? They are without number and I am seized with grief – could I but atone for this one ... this one that brought you to the ground.

The world applauded as you fell ... endlessly through the empty corridors of my life that end abruptly now, here at your knees.

Did you see my feet before you as you lay on the ground? Did you look up on my indifference, bloodied and dazed?

I know you did! I saw you! Homeless and ravaged with addiction, you laid at my feet and looked up at me from the squalor of my selfishness, uttering no word of reproach – as I stepped over you on my way to work. I have seen your eyes a thousand times ... from doorways and dumpsters ... and a thousand times I passed you by.

For all my grief on this first fall you know ... you know that falling once will not suffice. I have brought the very Son of God to His knees ... and still it will not do! Still I am not convinced, that you will pour your life out in your love ... for me. You must topple this god I have made of myself, vanquish this idol again and again. I will see if yet you love me so!

What will it take?

But I will follow you ... to see if so you love me still – despite my countless sins that press you down against the pavement of my hardened heart.

Could one fall suffice, I would never have sinned again ...

O, Pie, Jesu, Domine ... !